It's curious sometimes it's easier to accomplish something when we let the subconscious do the work without getting in our own way. Don't get me wrong I like goals. But there is an attachment to them and a deep hurt if we fail. So my goal is to work on my intentions! Ha! (LOL for those of you that don't know what Ha, Ha means)
So the sum of this is, in relationships don't have the goal to be good, make it your continual intention. Soften your heart to remember your spouse has the best intentions for you also. Even if they do not always manifest themselves that way. When we let our heart follow the intentions of our heart we become better people (If those intentions are good). We become what our intentions are. So the best advice ever given to me by my loving mother "watch your intentions, "